SEX, INTIMACY & RELATIONSHIP
In order to have INTIMACY you must have vulnerability
Vulnerability is basically NOT letting fear of being hurt stop you from enJOYing an intimate relationship, intimate sexual relationship, intimate sex with a stranger or true love.
Another factor that blocks or reduces intimacy is being preoccupied with your ego chatter mind or thinking. If you mind is busy thinking, judging or fantasying then a little or a lot of you is NOT available to BE with the other person. A busy mind is like having a conversation with a third person while you are trying to have sex, etc. You are distracted so neither the sex nor the conversation work well. Although our society has taught us that our mind is 'us' the truth is we have a mind and we are not out mind. So engaging [thinking] with our mind is like having a conversation with another person. Intimacy requires your full attention. Surely you can recall being with someone physically and at the same time noticing it didn't feel like they were completely there with you.
Contrary to popular beliefs: thinking is a separate activity that takes up time, attention and energy. In other words thinking is an activity just like eating, walking, talking, sexing, etc. Thinking competes with everything we do and with our ability to fully experience our sensuality. In other words thinking competes with experiencing sex. The more you think, the less you feel what your body is doing. Erectile dysfunction is a lot about thinking too much and not paying attention to what you are doing with genitals.
Thinking also creates stress and you need to be relaxed to keep or get an erection.
Your attention needs to be focused like a laser beam or a spot light not like a flood light that barley lights up lots of things. It looks like we can think and do other things but in truth the quality of everything is reduced. People on a cell phone while driving often drive very poorly but they are unaware they are doing that because they are only focused on the cell phone conversation. Their brain is not processing all the information, it is too busy with the conversation.
...quiet mind
... whats love all about
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